sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
