No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
