You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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