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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  no, he came in my armpit

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  We've made things harder for ourselves

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  The struggle will be part of the fun

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• (760): View more from California

  I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?

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