This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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