Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
