i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
