well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize