I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
