I wish i was in the wii world.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize