can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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