I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
