I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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