I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Girls should come with a carfax report
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
