I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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