omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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