capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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