My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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