Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
cat food counts as protein by the way
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i now understand why vodka
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
