And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize