Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm always down for nudity.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
