i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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