Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
