I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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