I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
