I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
