If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
