I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
