you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I think your dad took our porno
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize