Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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