he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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