I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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