the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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