discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
