Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
