alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
