Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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