y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
