I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
