The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
