Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
