you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
