Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
