im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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