I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I want to fling myself into the sun
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
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