How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just sent this text using only my big toe
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
