I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
