i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Is Oprah even human
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
