I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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