Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
