Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
