It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
