Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
