Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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