sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
