It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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