guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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