Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
