Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he puts the penis in happiness.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
