I want to make a zoo with you.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
