Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize