plz talk dirty to me
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
